Who gets denied the opportunity to contribute to charity? Whose donations do not qualify as a viable food source for a hunger center? Who gets the ixnay on the spaghett-tay? Well, we do of course.
Over Spring Break I took the kids to the Library. Given our Spring Break week looked more like Winter Break, we had to forego a trip to the zoo and spend our time indoors. I figured a nice quiet place surrounded by books would do the three little guys and myself some good.
It was also that one time of the year where I can drastically reduce my library fines. You see, I am very good with money. I pay all my bills on time. I can set up and hold to a budget. I even manage my business’ finances. It’s all good. Yet, when it comes to returning library books and movies on time, well there is a bit of a problem.
I now have to lock up the kids library books in my closet. This way in order to grab the next book they have to return their current book to me. It is one way I can monitor the books and avoid calls from The Library Association of Unretunred Library Items. I have bought more books and movies that seriously we could open up our own institution to borrow and lend books, DVD’s and CD’s. In fact, I just found Thomas’ Snowy Day Surprise hidden in a moving box from 2005.
Do you think they will accept its return this late in the game?
Anyways, when I have a chance to reduce my fines, I’m all for it. I have picked up trash, donated used books to schools, volunteered my time during children’s story hour and most recently had an opportunity to donate canned goods. So on our latest trip over break, while the little monkeys were climbing the book shelves, I was negotiating a fine reduction. $1.00 off fines for every canned good item. I was so happy to donate to the hunger center that I was willing to empty out my whole pantry. I even told the Librarian to keep the extras.
I wanted to show the kids it is not just about doing something to get something in return. That giving more is always the better option. Until the Librarian started to indicate to her assistant that the many items I turned in need to go into the unacceptable bin. I’m sorry, come again? Black beans do not qualify. What could the volunteers possibly do with black beans? Garbanzo beans do not qualify. Artichokes are not a real vegetable item. Low sodium soup is not acceptable. I guess there is a need for iodine. Probably for an electrolyte boost or something. Oh and Spaghetti O’s, what was I thinking? No really, she said, “You really shouldn’t feed your children this as nothing in this can is real.”
Now if any of you know me personally or have been following my blog, I do not feed my children Spaghetti O’s or their equivalents. Not that I am knocking on Chef Boyardee or Campbell’s, but I believe in raw, whole foods without added dyes, processed ingredients or genetically modified substances. I know it is not everybody’s thing but it’s how I choose to raise my little guys. It is how I choose to nourish them and my own body.
So naturally I explained to the Librarian and her assistant, that someone brought these over to my house and I agree I would never give the kids such a delicacy as Spaghetti’s O’s. They just peered at me through their Librarian lenses and in disbelief, said “Mmm hmm.” So along with a lecture on healthy and nutritious foods I should feed my children, my Spaghetti O’s were denied as well as the beans o’ plentiful and my library fines remained the same.
So, finding Thomas’ Snowy Day Surprise just tickled my fancy. I cannot wait to return this item. Yet, I will probably receive another fine as it is now probably a discontinued item on the Librarian’s List.
Who else owes their retirement in library fines? Have you ever been denied an item for donation? Since when did hunger centers get so picky?
I mean hunger is hunger. Legumes are high in protein and filling via their carbohydrate content. Now Spaghetti O’s on the other hand, well shame on me for trying to donate those, but I figured it was better than putting them in the trash. Well, my good lesson to the children on giving more than necessary all sort of backfired. They were ashamed of me for trying to give away “bad food” to the homeless. The Librarian was able to pull off her signature move by lowering her glasses and gazing at me with sternness as if I just shouted in her institution. It was a total belly flop and complete waste of a Spring Break morning.
So, where are you at in library fines?