Dear Detox Cleanse, When Will You Stop My Head From Aching?


Oh my goodness, so I started this 7-day cleanse and I think I am dying.  I am in such a state of helplessness all because I grabbed a flyer when I went into Whole Foods the other day for romano cheese and mint chocolate chip ice cream.  Don’t ask and no I am not with child.  I am crabby, bitter and ready to eat my arm off.  But, I will not give in to hunger pangs nor disorientation.  Yet, this headache needs to go!  I know, I am coming off a 15 year coffee addiction but I never thought it would be like this.  My internal organs checked into rehab on Saturday and now my external being is losing it.

Seriously all the things you hear when first starting a cleanse like:

  1. headaches
  2. restlessness
  3. nausea
  4. tiredness

are all happening.  Why do this you ask?  Because I want to see if I can.  I want to kick-start my organs into gear, lose some poundage and get ready for an upcoming race.  Is there a simpler way?  Perhaps, but not in 7 days.  But, at the end of these seven days, I should be,

  1. 5-7 pounds lighter
  2. having more energy
  3. having glowing skin
  4. feel great

Yet, I am worried I will not survive.  I have never, ever had a headache quite like this.  Yes I know only eating fruit in day one and only fruits and veggies yesterday may have something to do with it but a woman needs her coffee.  She needs it hot, fresh, strong and NOW!  Will I survive the next 5 days.  Sure, if I can sleep the whole time I would be fine.  “They say” to ease your way into the cleanse.  Please explain that to my three sons, my laundry bin, my job and my head.   

Anyways it’s no fun going at anything alone so I want to encourage you all to join me.  Now that I have just painted a nice little picture about how fun this is, I know you will all want to jump right on board Two Zero One Three to a New Me.  So click away and begin today.  I mean if I am going to suffer, we all should, right? 

I do hope I can get through the next five days and come out glowing and lighter and brighter.  But I also hope it will pave the way for continued good eating habits void of all things processed and sugary and fried.  Not that I indulge in this much but there is always room for improvement.  As for the coffee, yah well void of that is never happening.  I will just cut down a bit to five pots a day instead of eight.

I know...calm down!  You'll get your turn to indulge!
I know…calm down! You’ll get your turn to indulge!

So, what’s in your cup?  Have you ever done a cleanse?  Did you want to rip your head off?  Did you cave?  Did you succeed?


6 thoughts on “Dear Detox Cleanse, When Will You Stop My Head From Aching?”

  1. I lasted about three hours in my detox. The really bad headache did it, and the carrot juice tasted like cr@p. I’m not a very good role model I’m afraid!

  2. My dad was a truck driver for over 30 years – and when he even TRIED to kick caffeine he had a jack hammer size headache and was so crabby it was insane.. so maybe the coffee can aid in the cleanse and act like a laxative? ha ha!! Good luck – thinking about you!

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