Turn Around and Swim

Life | Lessons | Laughter | Love


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I’m a Little Cupcake Short and Sweet

My Creation...Make It Come Alive!

My Creation…Make It Come Alive!

I go against the grain. That’s just what I do. I don’t know any other way to roll. So as this blog has always recommended, when life hands you lemons, of course you can throw them at people but you can also use them. And I do that too. Why waste a perfectly good lemon on someone’s head? Lately, I have been using my lemons to make detox water upon rising but a lemon is a lemon is a lemon. So do what you like. Anyways, you get the idea.

So, when life hands me obstacles like lemons and such, I blog and bake. That’s how Swimgirl and this little blog was born almost a year ago. I had some real sour, expired lemons in my fruit preserving drawer. I wanted to make like a bear and go into hibernation but I refused to abandon the journey. No obstacle, whether small or big was going to stop my chi from flowing. Even though I felt like I was sinking and the May Day! signal was not being picked up, I was still afloat. I started treading. Then eventually I was able to turn around and swim.

So here we are, almost a year later, giggling, swimming, inspiring and blogging. Oh and baking too! I tend to be an emotional eater. I eat when I get bogged down by life’s happenings. So instead of eating my way through the anguish, I bake instead. Then I recruit my three little sons to consume the delectable treats. I feel good and a lick of the batter is enough of an euphoria to take off the life preservers and just swim. So, as life happens and this month got more in-depth, I needed to signal out for an SOS.

Heaven from Earth

Heaven from Earth

First I looked up to heaven from earth. I think I received a few answers because to see this magnificence in the dead of winter, was enough to stoke my inner being and revive my attitude. It’s a gaze into the bigger picture. It’s an awakening by realizing there is so much more than what’s being held within each of us.

It’s the breathe, the new dawn, the glimpse that life will always be the journey, not the final destination. It’s knowing someone somewhere, is looking up at the same sky and in the universe our paths are crossing even if our journey is completely different. We are all one in the same, connected yet separate.

Next a fine espresso drink grounds me as I take joy in heaven in a cup. The bold taste of the espresso coupled with subtle hints of vanilla soymilk foam and a touch of dark chocolate just absorbs the cares of the day. It’s my drink. It’s my restoration smoothie. Holding the cup between my palms connects me with the art involved in creating this beverage.

Some wonder why some spend so much money on a coffee. This my friends is no ordinary coffee. It tells a story. From the seed in which it is made. The seed so intricately planted and cultivated that is harvested by a farmer in a developing country. The Fair Trade practice to empower the farmer and help sustain our planet. Then it is packaged and shipped. When it is ground by my Barista, he or she takes the time to make the perfect espresso, adding the exact amount of ingredients at the right temperature to pass onto me the seed that started it all. My heaven in a cup.

Heaven In a Cup

Heaven In a Cup

So we have heaven from earth, heaven in a cup and heaven on earth via my latest creation. The Grande Mocha Whip Cupcake. I wanted to recreate heaven on earth since life has been handing me lots of yellow produce lately. I wanted to stop, think and listen rather than overeat. I wanted to take a step back and create. Thus, the little cupcake short and sweet was born. It took almost a week to create this lovely piece of joy. Just like when we set out to blog we navigate and create our sites. With trial and error we pick our theme, choose our Gravatar, establish our color scheme and organize our widgets. Then we begin. We tap key after key and before we know it we are blogging. Just like that.

Just like my cupcake was created. Ingredient by ingredient an espresso drink recreated in a cupcake. Rich espresso infused with dark chocolate and vanilla. In the drink version, my favorite part is when the cup runneth dry. Instead of approaching it as my cup is empty, I am full of joy instead. The sweet chocolate syrup at the bottom with white foam. That’s the best part. This was the hardest to replicate. Finally, after good old trial and error, I found the magic ingredient. An Oreo cookie was lined in the muffin tin to recreate the best part of the drink. Yet, the frosting top does not disappoint either as the first layer captures the espresso froth while the next layer captures the vanilla soymilk foam. The hints of espresso and dark, rich chocolate will tempt your soul…wanting more! But why stop there? Why just create and not share?

Filled with life, lessons, laughter and love...it's a blogcake theme!

Filled with life, lessons, laughter and love…it’s a blogcake theme!

So despite the what ifs, and little voices that tell me I would never win, I entered heaven on earth into a cupcake contest. So for the next 14 days my cupcake will be judged by all of you and the world-wide web. It may be hard for the non coffee or chocolate lover to indulge in such a treat but if you are reading between the lines, you can see the bigger picture here.

You can see this is about creating when life hands us lemons. It’s about doing something you probably don’t stand a chance in succeeding in. It’s starting that really matters. It’s trying when your little engine says you can’t. It’s indulging in life rather than the goodies that make us think they enable us. It’s having self-control when you want to blow. It’s art, it’s your passion, it’s sharing when perhaps you think no one is listening. Because somewhere, up or out there, you will touch someone. You will be the seed that starts it all.

If you want to follow me on this journey through this thing called life, take some time to do a random act of kindness today. Stop by my cupcake page and indulge yourself for a bit. If you like what you see or have been inspired by this read, please vote right here by clicking on My Little Cupcake Short and Sweet! You can also click the cupcake Crown Icon to the right of this post. You can vote everyday until February 13, 2013 at 11:59 EST. Its more than winning to me. It’s sharing, it’s taking a risk, it’s enjoying the adventure even if the lemons are sour and expired. Now get out there and be all you strive to be. You are the only one holding yourself back.


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Dear Detox Cleanse, When Will You Stop My Head From Aching?

thCAPEZP0L

Oh my goodness, so I started this 7-day cleanse and I think I am dying.  I am in such a state of helplessness all because I grabbed a flyer when I went into Whole Foods the other day for romano cheese and mint chocolate chip ice cream.  Don’t ask and no I am not with child.  I am crabby, bitter and ready to eat my arm off.  But, I will not give in to hunger pangs nor disorientation.  Yet, this headache needs to go!  I know, I am coming off a 15 year coffee addiction but I never thought it would be like this.  My internal organs checked into rehab on Saturday and now my external being is losing it.

Seriously all the things you hear when first starting a cleanse like:

  1. headaches
  2. restlessness
  3. nausea
  4. tiredness

are all happening.  Why do this you ask?  Because I want to see if I can.  I want to kick-start my organs into gear, lose some poundage and get ready for an upcoming race.  Is there a simpler way?  Perhaps, but not in 7 days.  But, at the end of these seven days, I should be,

  1. 5-7 pounds lighter
  2. having more energy
  3. having glowing skin
  4. feel great

Yet, I am worried I will not survive.  I have never, ever had a headache quite like this.  Yes I know only eating fruit in day one and only fruits and veggies yesterday may have something to do with it but a woman needs her coffee.  She needs it hot, fresh, strong and NOW!  Will I survive the next 5 days.  Sure, if I can sleep the whole time I would be fine.  “They say” to ease your way into the cleanse.  Please explain that to my three sons, my laundry bin, my job and my head.   

Anyways it’s no fun going at anything alone so I want to encourage you all to join me.  Now that I have just painted a nice little picture about how fun this is, I know you will all want to jump right on board Two Zero One Three to a New Me.  So click away and begin today.  I mean if I am going to suffer, we all should, right? 

I do hope I can get through the next five days and come out glowing and lighter and brighter.  But I also hope it will pave the way for continued good eating habits void of all things processed and sugary and fried.  Not that I indulge in this much but there is always room for improvement.  As for the coffee, yah well void of that is never happening.  I will just cut down a bit to five pots a day instead of eight.

I know...calm down!  You'll get your turn to indulge!

I know…calm down! You’ll get your turn to indulge!

So, what’s in your cup?  Have you ever done a cleanse?  Did you want to rip your head off?  Did you cave?  Did you succeed?


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Weekly Photo Challenge: Beyond

 

Set your heights more than what you see around you, see beyond. - Anthony Anderson

Set your heights more than what you see around you, see beyond. – Anthony Anderson

This summer the little guys and I were at a festival. I was taking advantage of some photo opps of them while they were sort of sitting around. Sitting doesn’t happen often with these guys plus getting them all together in one shot is a rarity. So, I was snapping away and upon review of the photos later when we returned home, I saw this photograph. I absolutely love the moment, their expressions and gazes. Was it a bird, a plane or Superman? What were they looking at? What was up there, way beyond?

My oldest and youngest are sort of in their non-animated, brace yourself for excitement kind of state. While my middle son, who never disappoints on the drama front, is all like Whoa! I showed the picture to the boys and they just started laughing and looking at each other. It is if they know something I don’t and they love that I am stumped.

They truly shared a brother moment of when what to their wondering eyes did appear. It could have simply been the innocence of childhood in watching a balloon float upwards and way beyond. It could have been the excitement of a cloud formation that resembled one of their heroes configured as a white puff surrounded by blue. Perhaps it was the blimp making its way to the NFL home game. Yet, simply, it could have been one of them playing a trick on the other to get them to look, at a unicorn in the sky.

I will probably never know what they were gazing at or mesmerized by. Yet, I hope they can always turn upward and look to the sky when they need reassurance, a blessing or when they think of someone they love that was once here. I wish for them to have many more brother moments that they share together such as this. And when the skies are grey or clouds cover their dreams, that someone up above and way beyond will give them the strength they need.


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Itchy, Itchy Critter Head

Every four weeks for an hour and forty-five minutes I get a mommy break. I get to sip coffee, read Gossip magazines, wear a cape, look frazzled and have chemicals eating away at my scalp. The salon I go to when I need to wash my grays away also gives you a hand, arm and scalp massage. In the one and three quarter hours I am there, I relax, rejuvenate and get made all pretty. As a mom of three boys under the age of nine, sometimes this is how you have to get a break in. For some it is a shopping trip alone to the grocery store. You know when buying jar pasta sauce, tuna in a can and peanut butter takes four hours. Yet for you, wandering the aisles meditating to Kraft, Smuckers and Revlon is all it takes to stoke your inner being. I get it, I just prefer to sit and meditate while burning my scalp.

So you can all appreciate by reading my posts and following my blog how wild and crazy Me 4.0 can be at times. If you just ventured here via a Google search gone wrong or a 6.9 second blip across the WordPress topic screen, then stop right here. Read this first, Life In My Fast Lane. So, as you know or can see, if I can get 1.75 hours of chillaxin time humming to the tune of a hairdryer and lots of ladies yapping about nonsense, that to me is the equivalent as consuming a bottle of wine. Plus I do not have a two-day hangover afterwards either. Not that, that ever happens. Like ever. But you get the idea.

So a few days ago was mommy’s big night out. I found a parking spot that did not require a meter donation and ventured into my oasis spot. I chatted with my stylist a bit while she slapped the sticky brown chemicals on my head and then she set the timer of bliss. Now for the next forty-five minutes I can indulge in smut, sip a warm beverage and sit. Just sit. Bethenny Frankel‘s divorce was way too predictable and the fact that a princess is going to be a mama doesn’t really interest me. I’m happy and all for the Royal family and the soon to be little squirt but really, enough is enough. So, I open up my Whole Living Magazine and get caught up on the mind, body and soul connection. I mean it was only the August 2012 Edition. How do you say speed reader? I really should be on June 2013’s edition so I can get a head start on my Independence Day planning. I mean fireworks are nothing if you don’t have chia seed fruit pops in red, white and blue. That is the latest copy I received, right? Really, why do magazines do that?

Picture Courtesy of Google Images

Picture Courtesy of Google Images

Never mind. That is not important. What is important is the fact the very loud woman in the swivel chair next to me, caused me much anguish. You see somewhere between reading the ingredients for a Tahini-Mango smoothie to getting down with Deepak Chopra, I had a self-induced anxiety attack. After the ninth foil went into her bleach blonde hair, she proceeded to ask her stylist, “Did you happen to see any bugs?” Suddenly it was as if the power went out because the whole salon/spa became silent with the exception of someone’s eyebrow that just got waxed off. Did you say bugs lady?

Yes, oh yes, she did. She has lice. That is in, the present, right now, currently is with bugs. This is how you lay it down lady? This is how you break the news to your stylist? Because oh cancelling the appointment until you were bug free wouldn’t have been the wiser choice. Instead, this selfish little lady getting her hair all done up, relaxing to no avail with a bug infested head while I am squirming in my chair was the better option, right? But get this. The stylist keeps foiling and color applying. I would have put a bag over her head and escorted her out with some Aveda Comforting Tea.

Now there must be some sort of “never let the client see you sweat” protocol at the salon because I know the stylist was dying. I just do not get why she kept on going. Find a way to get off that head. Instead she brings a senior stylist over to talk product and bug zapper companies that can treat her head and home. That’s right, because white bugs can jump. In fact, they can jump very far. Possibly like right over to where my head, coat and purse were. They also like warm, clean, dim-lit spaces. Yes, well don’t we all after the age of 35? Now please get your head out of here.

I could see this wasn’t happening. I can appreciate the stylist’s professionalism. Even as the sweat beads ran down her forehead and she was basically in plank position applying the color she was all smiles and uh-huhs. Then she finished up and bolted. Great. What about me? That’s right, little miss I do everything for everyone just got selfish. What about me? I don’t want any bugs!

So, I took action. I got up and refilled my Aveda Comforting Tea multiple times, browsed the retail rack and scheduled 18 future appointments with the receptionist. As I watched from afar as she sat there sipping her coffee, getting fifty shades lighter and flipping through the Cosmo pages I couldn’t help but want to throw a bottle of Volumizer at her to go with her already inflated selfish little head. My timer was ticking away and I was loosing my precious mommy night out time to bug girl. Then she had the nerve along with the rest of the salon to look at me as to why I was wandering around aimlessly with my little black cape. So I sit back down. Then I starting thinking about all my friends and family who had lice and what they had to go through. It is unfortunate and I truly wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. But if you know you have an issue, don’t spread it. So I refill my tea for the tenth time and use the restroom for the sixth time.

Upon passing the shampoo bowl, I wanted to vomit thinking about how many bugs went swimming or will go swimming in there soon. I had to do something big. I only had fourteen minutes left on the ticker and then my mommy night out time would soon be up. No more sitting, sipping and browsing. It will be all over soon. If they weren’t going to move her, then I was going to move. So I venture out into the reception area. The staff at this point probably thought I was bloated with gas problems or going through some kind of substance withdrawal with all my movement, fidgeting and trips to the restroom. Plus I looked like Wonder Woman gone wrong.

It's mommy's turn and besides...I'm hot!(picture courtesy of Google Images)

It’s mommy’s turn and besides…I’m hot!
(picture courtesy of Google Images)

Ladies you know what I mean when you get your hair-colored but seriously I look like Medusa in a cape. Scary stuff. Funny as they wouldn’t put an end to bug girl but they asked if I wouldn’t mind going back into the style chair because they prefer no color get on the reception sofa. Oh but lice infesting the joint was A-Okay.

I knew I had to think big and act swiftly. So I gently loosen my smock cape just enough that it would “accidentally” drag on the floor and I refill my tea. Again. As I was proceeding back to the adjustable-height, swivel chair, I “accidentally” tripped over my smock cape and my tea went flying onto my chair, the floor and my station mirror. For all of you that frequent salons, then you know where there’s hair product there’s wire. My intentions were not to cause an electrical shortage. But those sparks registered on the magnitude of a bug zapper hanging from a tree in the night of summer. Several stylists ran over and asked if I was okay and not to worry about it. Then the magic words, “Why don’t you have a seat over here?” Finally. Now with four minutes left to shampoo bowl time, a self-induced anxiety attack and a detox cleanse in motion courtesy of the eight gallons of Aveda Comforting Tea I consumed, this mama is back in business. I refuse to ever be a victim. Ever!

Three days and counting I am still bug free and I am devising a future plan in the event the salon is too tight on customer service to decline a bug head. I really don’t blame them. I shame and blame critter head.

May you all begin your weekend with an itch free head. I’m still scratching mine in awe. Please do not get me wrong. I am not being insensitive or judgemental of the fact that this lady had lice. I could only imagine what she has been going through. The issue here is that she failed to disclose or be sensitive to the salon patrons and for goodness sake her stylist.

So, what would you do? Would you voice your concern or put yourself into cardiac arrest? Is it fair to others to come to a salon when you have lice without consulting with them before services begin? What crazy thing have you done to get out of a bad situation?


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Weekly Photo Challenge: Illumination

The Challenge: IN A NEW POST CREATED SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS CHALLENGE, SHARE A PICTURE THAT MEANS ILLUMINATION TO YOU.

History is not a burden on the memory but an illumination of the soul. - Lord Acton

History is not a burden on the memory but an illumination of the soul. – Lord Acton

My little man was enjoying one of those favorite childhood activities. As he was coloring his sidewalk chalk masterpiece, the clouds cleared and the sun starting beaming in the late summer sky. It was so bright it was unreal. I wanted to snap a shot of him in action. The light surrounded him and his shadow created a barrier between his being and his artwork.

Yet, it is not “the sun” that brings this picture to life, it’s “my son”. He lights up my life and illuminates my world.

The sun was a welcomed surprise that day but the true radiance was in seizing the moment.

“lights are functional — everyday objects in our rooms and on our streets. Yet lights can be powerful symbols: signs of life, curiosity, and discovery.”


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Flying Solo

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything." - Win Borden(Image courtesy of Google Images)

“If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.” – Win Borden
(Image courtesy of Google Images)

Seventy-Eight years ago today, a fearful woman, flew solo across the Pacific Ocean. Despite the prejudicial and financial obstacles, she did it anyway. Amelia Earhart was aware of the hazards, but flew East anyway. She flew against the wind and challenged the norm. She was willing to fail so others would be challenged. Pretty awesome if you don’t mind me saying.

You risk taker you...Stop it!(Image Courtesy of Google Images)

You risk taker you…Stop it!
(Image Courtesy of Google Images)

How often are we afraid to fly and open our wings and soar? To often we fear the climb and refuse to think outside the box. I don’t really consider myself much of a follower. Yet, I am not really a leader. I don’t really go with the flow either. I can’t say I always play it safe. I am a risk taker when the odds are more in my favor. I’ll venture to color outside the lines a bit and then I jump right back in when eyes start gazing. I’m an adventure mut.

I’m a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Some say that’s good, others think I am too daring. But really, I think it’s all messed up. I’m too rational to make a huge mistake but too *stupid to jump off the cliff (*stupid = fearful here). So this year I am really going outside the lines. I am venturing outside the box. I’ve been scooting by because I have been enlarging the box to fit my extreme thoughts, ideas and aspirations.

I’m such a cheater. You cannot make the box bigger to fit the stuff and then call yourself adventurous. It is time I get real and leave the box size alone. It’s time to strap on the goggles and take flight outside the comfort zone. One foot at a time is so 2012. Jump big or go home, right?

I realize not everyone is with me. It’s not all for and none against. But I can fly solo and make big things happen. I am my own personal cheerleader (this is the time you all run down to the comments aisle and cheer, cheer, cheer me on – Thank you!)

Now for the rest of you. Go ahead! Shame me, mock me, point the finger at me and just try to discourage me. I dare you! I wasn’t nuts for running a half marathon a few years ago with no training. That’s skill. That’s art. That’s courage. So, I am so glad you are all following me on my 2013 journey. I promise it will be one wild and crazy ride. If you are not following me, then what the heck? Proceed to top right and follow Swimgirl, here, on Twitter, Facebook or just stop by again!

"Jump Big or Go Home" - Swimgirl(Image Courtesy of Google Images)

“Jump Big or Go Home” – Swimgirl
(Image Courtesy of Google Images)

Now go get out there today and do one thing against the norm. Dare to wear something you love but wouldn’t be caught in public in. Sign up for something you think you could never complete. It’s showing up that really matters anyways. Eat something you’ve been wanting to try. Call someone you miss. Say I’m sorry even if it means losing your pride. Resolve to think outside the box, color outside the lines or go against the norm. Amelia would be so proud and so will I. Please stop by later and share your story.

*Disclosure – this site is not responsible for broken bones, job loss, food poisoning and/or apologies for down right stupidity.

Now get out there and fly people! Ain’t nobody gonna do it for you. Make it happen today! My Grandmother sure did one year ago and Amelia did it seventy-eight years ago. Be the wind beneath your wings!


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Taking the Plunge (The Art of Unclogging a Toilet)

Let The Good Times Roll(image courtesy of Google)

Let The Good Times Roll
(image courtesy of Google)

The New Year has arrived. Yippee! We are all moving forward in tackling our resolutions. We have removed our homes of candy, cookies and leftovers. We are working out every day or in the case of a friend of mine, “working it out” everyday. I am still wondering what “it” is she is working out. You’ve got to love that resolution though. By far my favorite. She has made the goal so nonspecific that if she slips up, there is plenty of room for adjustment. Very intuitive, I say.

As you know from My New Year’s Intentions Post I am working on my weekly to-do’s to accomplish twelve big months. I started with the removal of 2012 Christmas past. The decor is boxed, the ornaments are in their protective wrap and all feast related delectables have been consumed. Now just stands a 9 foot bare evergreen shedding it’s winter coat all over my living room floor. Removal of the prickly beast is the one and only job I assign to the main man of the house. Please check back in a few months. I may still be talking about Oh Tannenbaum.

So while I was listening to the last of the holiday hits last night on satellite TV’s holiday happenings channel, sipping some Double Dark Chocolate Mate tea, reading my first book of 2013 and wafting the scent of fermented pine, my thoughts began to drift. I was taken back to the summer of 2011. I am not sure if Brian Adams will sing a song about this given what I am about to share with you but for me that old pine scent took me back.

Taking the Plunge(image courtesy of Google)

Taking the Plunge
(image courtesy of Google)

My youngest son was 18 months. I ventured to the pool equipped with a toddler, fresh out of the gate three-year old and an eight-year old. I was fully aware that chaos was about to transpire. But given I scored a new babysitter, the trauma of managing the above children, water, diving boards and mommies of older children who refused to help, it was worth the adventure.

I will not admit I stalked the Life Guard turned Tiki Hut Snack Cashier because I really did have life saving questions and the 12 bags of goldfish and 6 slushies kept children from drowning that day. But it was borderline stalker-ish. Yet, she did give me her number because she was so excited to babysit at some point in the future. Three cute little boys all shriveled and water-logged with hoodie towels, who wouldn’t love watching them? In the meantime, I was going insane.

So the big day came right about when the kids went back to school. The main man of the house had an evening work event and after he played Mr. Mommy Not At All the whole day, I figured it would be a fine time to put Life Guard Tiki Hut Snack Cashier to good use. I was going to take a mommy night off. I left main man instructions for the new sitter and texted her all the important numbers.

  1. Poison Control
  2. Neighbors with spare keys
  3. Main man’s work number
  4. Main man’s cell phone number
  5. Pizza delivery

I had it covered. We were good to go and after work I got my pedicure on and then treated myself to a long over-do workout. When I arrived home she was standing at the door with her flip-flops, phone and keys. She said everything was good and then proceeded to tell me she just remembered she will be doing an internship overseas for six months. Funny as I could have sworn I saw a Life Guard turned Tiki Hut Snack Cashier at the pool that looked just like her for the remainder of pool season. Hmm, strange.

Anyways, she left and before slipping into a relaxing bath, I went to kiss my little angels good night. They were all safe in their beds but there was this smell of something horrible omitting from somewhere. But I proceeded on to bath and bed. Upon waking, the smell amplified. It brought tears to my eyes. But I didn’t discover “it” until I got home from work.

Now to spare you all the nasty details, just imagine an overfilled port-a-pot. Then picture gobs of wet toilet paper all over the powder room walls. I am surprised the carbon monoxide detector was not set off. The floor was wet and the brown murky water was basically bubbling like a witch’s fatal brew. I called the main man of the house and this is what he had to say.

“I was busy. I had to get the kids fed and bathed before the sitter was coming. I couldn’t clean up because I didn’t want to be late for my meeting.”

“Holy hell you knew about this?”, I exclaim. For the love of plumbers. What am I going to do with this? So I grab some flip-flops, clog style, to keep me above sea level and the plunger. It was going to be brutal, this I expected. But down right disastrous, I never gave it any thought.

So I insert old plunge into my once clean toilet and plunge away. It wouldn’t budge. I am getting aggravated and I give it a swift push and I am smacked in the back of the head with water. This is also the day I discovered a defect in our home’s plumbing system. The waste water should not have come up through the sink behind me. But it did and then I really start plunging, and cursing and then the fatal brew hit me in the eye.

I went running into the shower and I swear I wanted to take a bleach bath. I ripped out my contacts. Because I was practically blind and all teary eyed when I went to grab the Visine, I accidentally grabbed 5-year-old pink eye relief drops instead. Expiration dates are very real and in place for a reason. Now my eyes were oozing and burning so I grab my glasses. I have a towel wrapped around me and I put on a pair of main man’s wool tube socks and grab some rubber gloves. I sit down at the computer and Google

How to unclog a toilet

Google answered and I followed all the steps. With my Haz-Mat gear on I go into the pit. I crouch down like a hidden dragon, because if my breath made contact with the gas emissions, flames would be coming from my nostrils, and I shut off the water valve. I pour some dish detergent into the toilet and wait one minute. Then I thrust extremely hot water into the toilet from a bucket. I wait 5 minutes. Then I plunge away. Now I am in a towel, with wool socks, partially blind, wearing rubber gloves and encased in a swarm of bubbles. That’s brown bubbles and they were everywhere. My toddler was laughing and so excited to pop mommy’s bubbles. No! No! No! Every curse word ever known to evil was in my head.

Safety First!(Image courtesy of Google)

Safety First!
(Image courtesy of Google)

Then the bus came to drop my little angels off. I couldn’t run out but waved from the front door wearing Haz Mat attire. My neighbors and kids were in complete shock. Especially since there were bubbles floating everywhere. Then whoosh…down went the remnants of Daddy Daycare.

So, that fermented pine scent is bringing it all back. The fact that Oh Tannenbaum is still bare naked in my living room waiting for removal is just hitting the wrong chords. It is wrong. All of it. The whole thing. Never, ever leave this kind of mess for anyone to clean up. Never take time off of being mommy for a night. Never have a sitter come to the house without mommy inspecting for hazards first. Never pass the buck and if you want it done, just done, do it yourself!

Oh Tannenbaum you and I have some business to take care of. For the rest of you, save this as a safety precaution handout and instruction manual for how to unclog a toilet. Happy New Year and may you continue to “work “it” out” even when surrounded by muddy colored bubbles. Proactivity is always your first line of defense.