So everyone I encountered and talked with on Monday morning, was having a day of $h*t! The more people I talked to, the more frustrated I became. Can everybody be this ultra-sensitive, sad and in “a mood”? I was convinced I would not let them bother me, because I was determined to have one helluva a good Monday!
After a commute from the pits of the earth, I plopped my dressed encased bottom into my faux leather chair and booted up my baby. Because really, can a computer fail you? No talk backs, no whines and no pangs. So, I started ‘er up and proceeded to email with one eye closed as to prep myself for any hate mail. I figured I might as well take a sip of my other baby, $5.00 in a cup, when suddenly the damn lid unlocked, causing the cup to crash to the desk and five dollars worth of liquid to tumble down on my dress, my keyboard, my mouse, the office carpet and my hard-drive.
Seriously? And I thought I was not going to succumb to the Monday of maniacs. After a trip to the computer software center, back to refuel at the local coffee joint and dodging through another mini commute to and fro, I began my workday at about noon. So, I decided, some things today are better just said with fingers and hands and hey even knees, shoulders and toes! So join me and let us order ourselves up a nice tall glass of I don’t give a f^*k!
10 Hands On Ways to Start Your Monday
1) Flip the Bird. Go ahead you know you want to! They did park their vehicle next to yours like a douche bag.
2) Talk to the Hand. Yes sir ree! Because everything you are saying makes you sound like an idiot!
3) Peace Dude! Because really I know you did not mean to cut me off in traffic.
4) Thumbs Up! It can only get better from here.
5) Crossed Fingers. Please just let me get through this day.
6) Finger Curling Inward. Yes, you. Uh huh, come over here! I have something to discuss with you. Now please proceed to #1.
7) Pointing Finger. I am going to do it even though mother said not to. You should not be wearing that scarf around your neck because it looks like you have a small animal wrapped around you.
8) Okay. I will let you slid this time but next time, it will not be that easy.
9) Rubbing of the forehead. The sound of this voice is giving me a headache and it’s not because I am dehydrated from the weekend festivities.
10) Chin Gathering. I would ponder this for a moment but, YOU ARE RIDICULOUS!
Anyways, don’t talk Mondays can be implemented. Use the above gestures to communicate during the Monday Mayhem. If anything, you will save your voice for when it’s needed most. Like screaming at geese to get out of your way, because their crossing can delay you at least two hours. Really, I was told this once by a babysitter! Happy Tuesday y’all!