A Letter to the Bistro Owner: Just a Piece of Bread

Dear Bistro Owner,
I want to start by saying that I had part pleasure and pain visiting your Bistro yesterday.  Now I do recognize I ventured into the establishment with my mother, a toddler and preschooler,  but really – NO BREAD for the duckies?  While the view from the entrance of the staircase to the floor above should have been a dead giveaway to turn away, I proceeded to ask the Host(ish), if the Bistro had high chairs.  The reply was yes and with some hesitation given my “baggage” I decided to be seated.
At this point there was still time to turn back given the guests were eloquently greeted by my four-year old as he ran up the flight of stairs faster than David Copperfield can make it out of a locked water tank.  Luckily, the guests were all in good spirits and welcomed the little surprise from my four-year old.  I also had a chance to apologize but the smiles on their face gave me the hint that the small diversion from their work day was welcomed.
So we proceeded to begin as usual with our beverage order.  This is the point where we should have packed up and ventured to Chuck-e-Cheese.  The lack of kid friendly cocktails and children’s menu were obviously not a big enough sign that said,
“Children May Be Welcomed Here
But Not A Good Fit For Our Establishment”. 
As the Host(ish) now turned Waiter compiled up our drink order, I asked what juices (for the kiddies) the Bistro had in stock.  As you know, we had the choices of grapefruit juice or cranberry juice. Now the thought of a two and four-year old sipping on grapefruit juice would have had the same reaction of nails scratching across a chalkboard.  So we ordered us up two “kiddie” sized cranberry juices.  The “kiddie” beverages were filled with ice galore so the majority of the juice was diluted.  We were in business except for the fact that the “kiddie” sized beverage was a highball GLASS.  I got to sip my Iced Tea and eat my lunch while holding onto highball GLASSes as my two and four-year old sipped through cocktail straws.  Looking back now we provided a very high level of entertainment for your guests.
I might as well chime in here that you really ought to change the linens after each guest as I do not care to have hair droppings and crumbs from the prior guests; one, two or possibly three days ago.  Now the decor is quaint.  In fact, I approve.  Your placemat idea with a “Go Green” initiative is sweet and definitely tops that of the paper kind.  But seriously, as if the table linens were not enough the placemats are reused from guest to guest too.  I loved how mine was soiled with marinara sauce but then neatly turned over so now all I had to see was just a spot of key-lime pie or the dessert of the week (perhaps last week’s).  I know for a fact, at least on this given day that you did not change the table linens or the place-mats.  I saw two tables cleared, well partially, and then re-dressed per se.  I also noticed the prior guest had a slight cold so all her March Madness germs graced the table linens and place-mats.  I think you get my point.
Your food is delicious.  The kids approved and so did myself and my mother.  Yum!  So cheers for that.  Time to check on out and when we got our $46.00 bill for a “kid” pizza – $6.00, Margherita pizza – $11.90, two salads – $13.80, all was good until we viewed the beverage fees. Seriously, $3.25 times two for diluted cranberry juice in a Highball GLASS for a two and four-year old.  I would never deprive the Host(ish) turned Waiter in wages via a tip  but he so could have hooked us up.  Not by way of anything free as that is not what this is all about.  He could have charged us for one juice seeing as he told us he would put them in smaller, I guess more “kid-friendly” glasses.  So either we got a discounted juice price at $3.25 a pop or seriously deprived of liquids.
I get it! This is not an establishment for children.  That is clear and I should have walked out as I am partially to blame.  I will not come back because I have a little germ phobia and I am not feeling the recycled and reused place-mats and table linens without a nice washing of sorts.  But what really got me bummed after we strolled out forty-five minutes later minus $56.00 was the fact that your establishment (that rakes people over the coals in non-alcoholic beverage fees) is that our Host(ish) turned Waiter(not) would not give us a measly piece of  stale bread, a pita chip or crouton so my urinary tract infection free children could go feed the ducks by the river.  Shame on him and shame on you for your beverage fees, dirty linens and lack of care for children’s innocent desires to “borrow” some bread to feed the duckies. 
Mom looking for a lunch date with her mother
and two of three boys who just wanted to relax
without cooking lunch and feed the ducks

3 thoughts on “A Letter to the Bistro Owner: Just a Piece of Bread”

  1. I did a most un-ladylike snort when I got to the part about the highball glasses. And then you topped yourself by referring to your kids as “my urinary tract infection free children.”
    Thanks for the laugh. Sorry that you didn’t get any bread.

Leave a Reply!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s