Everyone gets fired up for T.G.I.F. The work and school week has come to a close. The radio stations sound the 5:00 whistle. Then we all settle into what we will call the weekend for the next three nights and two days. Like a mini vacation to give our intellect a chance to rest and recuperate for once again, Monday.
This was one of those weekends that I sort of had the feeling would just never really settle in. Perhaps it was because I had no big plans or even little ones for that matter. I thought let’s just roll into this weekend and see what it brings. The chance to be a tad spontaneous after the usual Monday through Friday routine.
So, I settled into my Friday evening with a nice fire and a good read. I couldn’t stay up. I fought my body’s request to just let go and sleep for almost two hours. Finally, I used that intellect that was supposed to be resting and tucked myself into bed. But not before setting the alarm for Saturday. To get up earlier and get back to my good read. To sip coffee and sit by that cozy fire that sang me to sleep.
Yet, when Saturday called I slumbered back into bed or my intellect came out of hibernation and told me to. I frantically woke at 8:00 a.m. as my house started to move about. I felt rested but frustrated. Why? Rest is good but I knew I missed my only opportunity to read and relax. No worries, I still have Sunday. So I wanted to use Saturday to get all spiritual. To find meaning in something that I could share with friends or family or write about.
Yet, I couldn’t find those little lessons I so eagerly hoped to find. My yoga mat left me with nothing more than a stench which brought me to clean it. The class was good but I didn’t get that OM factor I was so used to. Once again, going about the day with a bit of frustration.
Well, I still had a chance to grab a lesson at Church. Very happy I went, it was just nothing out of the norm. I am not sure if I was expecting some revelation or just an all out cry session from the homily or something. I was just looking for meaning of some sorts and couldn’t grasp anything. The Saturday evening air even felt cold and harsh as the sun began to set in the west.
Oh well, off to set that alarm for Sunday. My last day and eve of this mini sabbatical. So, when the alarm sounded I once again got overruled by intellect and fell back to sleep for another 30 minutes again. I have to say if it wasn’t for the persistency of my pooch, I might have stayed there all day. Eventually I jumped up to get her out to do her morning duties. So, I lit that fire and grabbed my cup and ah my read. Page 3, here we go. Before I knew it my house was rocking and rolling and so was I. So, why not head to spin class.
There was no doubt in my mind that I would get some major insight from an hour ride on a stationary bike. Well besides the fact I lost 10 lbs in sweat and had jello legs for a good part of the day, no lesson or big meaning.
Why was it so hard this weekend trip to gain some really good stuff. To check out of Sunday and have this new lease on Monday. Frustration filled my every turn.
As the Sunday darkness fell and I was loading up my car with weekly necessities, who would have guessed I’d get my lesson. As my laundry detergent and dog food left my hands, my car trunk closed and I was walking to put my cart in its proper place (aka the cart return) the wind brushed along my cheek. I got a sudden chill. Not of cold but warmth. Sort of like the warm breath when someone whispers into your air. It was just like that. It was as if the wind was whispering to me. What I heard was, stop trying so hard to find the lesson, the meaning, the big idea. The harder we look sometimes the harder it is to find our answers.
I felt so vulnerable yet so insightful that I hesitated to get back in my car. I wanted the wind to whisper to me more. Yet, I knew then I would be trying too hard.
Often we come to a fork in the road and ponder which way to turn. Sometimes we even think about turning back. What I learned at my check-in to the weekend was go the way the wind blows. Sometimes that will be right and other times left. It might even be blowing you back. It might even just gently touch your cheek allowing you to open your eyes and heart and realize, no decision has to be made today, this weekend.